


Memories

by KAckerman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage, Betrayal, Bisexual Female Character, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Developing Friendships, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Family Issues, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Enemies, Humor, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Love Confessions, Military Training, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29128500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAckerman/pseuds/KAckerman
Summary: You are forced to go to Paradis with a couple of your friends and spy on the Eldians. You aren't a Titan shifter but since you're one of the best soldiers, youe job is to make sure everything goes as planned. You start to remember the many memories you and Zeke shared in your time on Marley, but will your relationship change once you return home
Relationships: Zeke Yeager/Reader
Kudos: 24





	Memories

"So, I'm to go where?!" I ask surprised by what Zeke told me. I quickly sit up and start putting my shirt back on after having a long night with him. He pushed his glasses back up to his face and gives me a stern look as he continues to smoke his cigarette in hand.

"Beyond the walls with Annie, Ymir ,Reiner and Bertholt." He sighs and turns to fully look at me once I got dressed up. "But I'm not like them..you..not a titan."

"You may be right but since you're one of the best soldiers here, the boss assigned you to join them and make sure everything goes as planned."

I'm still confused as to why I'm leaving. I reached forward and hold onto his hand, "But-"

"I know you don't want to leave,but you must. You gotta get your mind off of unnecessary thing's." He gives me a look I know all to well. He roughly pulled back from my grip on him and looked away from me.

"You're leaving tomorrow." He remained silent and finished off his cigarettes and stepped closer to the door, opening it, ready to leave.

"So, this is it then?" For the longest of time since we got recruited I've admired Zeke, no, loved him. He only has a few years to live and it pains me that he decided to choose this life, I'm lucky I didn't inherited any titan powers but Zeke, well he's another problem.

He doesn't care much for those around him and only himself, even if he has wished to die many years and regrets that he was even born. I feel all the same but on the inside and haven't ever told him. I've been an orphan for many years and he was the one I felt the closest to.

He's only two years older than me and he's been through a lot on his own, but after all this time, he's never let me into his life. Zeke and I, our relationship isn't quite normal, we are just friends but we've been intimate with each other.

Many times the cycle has repeated and no matter how unhealthy it is, I can't stop going back to him.

Zeke clearly knows how I feel for him, on that I haven't been hiding but he just pushes me off. He's given me many hints as to why I shouldn't get attached but I ignore them.

"Don't screw this up." With that Zeke closes the door and leaves my small home. Leaving it colder and emptier now that he's gone again. If that's what he wants then fine, I'll obey his orders and come back for him, maybe I'll have a chance when I come back.

**********

"Hi there, (Y/N)!" I yelped and stopped myself from falling down when Sasha threw herself on top of me and smiled wide and when show me what she sneaked in our cabin.

"More bacon? Isn't the one you have under your bed enough?" I tease her and the girl just shake her head an behind to eat most of it, offering me a few slices which I of course enjoy.

Most girls just stare at Sasha like she's insane and mutter. I just glare at them and smile at Sasha at how she's enjoying her midnight snack. "You'll get us in trouble if you continue doing this." Mikasa mutters from her spot and we see her reading a book.

Annie gives me a look from the other side. "Don't get attached to these people." She continued to tell me.

It's been months since we arrived at the walls and joined the military, we've done so much in the last few weeks that I haven't been hiding at how well I've enjoyed my time here, especially the kid people I have met.

Sasha, Jean, Connie, Armin even that suicidal guy known as Eren who always gives out a speech on how he'll kill titans. Ymir has been infatuated with Christa so she can't tell me otherwise and not get along with the rest. Mikasa is the one who's been keeping an eye on me whenever Sasha and I speak.

Potato girl as I like to call her, we've gotten along a lot. I see her as the sister I never had, I've let on a few things about my childhood, not much since she can know what's outside the walls and how I'm undercover.

I still miss Zeke and wonder if he thinks of me too, every night I pray that we'll see each other again. The reason I haven't ended my life is to see him again and for us to be together, I owe him my life and I hope he sees that. I'll show him how far I've gone and grown since he last saw me.

"What's on your mind, (Y/N)? Is it a boy?" Sasha teases me and continues to tap my shoulder. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, including Ymir and Annie.

I give her a gentle smile and nod my head, "It's someone I hold dear in my heart."

"Oooh I can't wait to find out which one of the boys it is!" I have a feeling that Sasha will keep this up for the longest of time.

*************

"Is it...Jean?"

"Nope."

"Commander Erwin? Levi? Oh let me guess Reiner!" She snaps her fingers and point at me. I stare at her and shake my head, "Wrong again." I'll admit all of the boys she's mentioned are attractive but they aren't Zeke.

More months have gone by and we're all officially working for the military, to protect the people from titans. Eren keeps having his fights with either Jean or Reiner now.

"I won't tell." I wink at her and see her blush. "Good..okay! At least it isn't Connie, you know he's sorta awkward and cute."

That's right, they are similar and get into trouble most of the time. Besides, they do look cute together. "Maybe I should put you up on a daye with him."

"Don't do it! I wont share my bacon and potatoes with you if you do." Sasha freaks out and wave her arms around.

"Potato girl!" We stand up straight when we hear Levi's voice nearby. We salute when we see it's him with Erwin.

"Sasha.I want you to help Jean and Hanji around with a couple of things. (Y/N), go and join Reiner and Bertolt to the stables." Erwin tells me and Levi who looks annoyed at the tall blond.

We both run off to where we're supposed to be and I put on a tough face when I see both tall males ahead, cleaning the stables and brushing the horses mane.

"About time you showed up." Reiner smirks and hands me a bucket full of apples to give out to the horses.

"I came as fast as I could."

Bertolt stays quiet when I'm next to him and I can't help wonder but why. "You think about him everyday don't you?" Reiner finally asks me that question I've been avoiding.

There's no use to lie then. "Correct as always, Reiner. But-"

"I know you've been infatuated by him. He's stupid for not paying attention to you. Anyway I'll get straight to the point.." Reiner steps towards me and stares down.

"The girls have noticed how open you've been about yourself and that's gotta change, they captured Annie do we can't mess this up again. Bertolt, Ymir and I are leaving. You'll join us and we'll finally be out of here and declare war on the Eldians."

I stay silent and make no change in my expression. "They are the real monsters not us." I remember he's always said that.

"Do this for him and we'll be free." Reiner mutters and goes back to work. I glance down at Bertholt and see him continue his work.

"He's right, (Y/N). Our time here had finished we need to head to Marley and report everything." He whispers.

He seems like a sweet guy, but he's the one responsible for the first attack, when all the titans barged into the wall and Eren's mother got eaten up by Zeke's mom when she got turned into a titan.

All because Zeke decided to report his own parents and his coward of a father escaped and got married again. How can a man do that and abandon everything he once had? Though, Zeke is at fault too.

I wonder how my parents even got together. All I know is that my father was from Marley and my mother Eldian. How did they even manage to escape? Did Grisha Jaeger help them?

That's something I have to discuss with Zeke when we meet again. "Reiner do you know anything on Zeke? On the Jaegers?"

Reiner scratches his head and seems to be thinking for a moment before he shrugs his shoulders, "Not much. You know the man doesn't like to talk much about himself, I figured you'd know something since you two were childhood friends."

I scoff and nudge his shoulder. "We were also raise together, Reiner."

"Yeah, but you'd always follow him around instead."

I hide my face from embarrassment, "I can't believe I used to do that."

I see Reiner's smirk disappear quick. "You still do, (Y/N). I'm afraid you haven't change at all." I frown at that and can't help but agree.

*************

Reiner, Ymir and Bertholt are gone, they left to reunite with everyone and tell them to come and attack everyone. "I'll be staying a while longer, keep checking on what everyone is saying and upcoming their plans." I told Reiner before he left.

"Good luck with that." Reiner said since he couldn't stay here a while longer. He hates it here.

Everyone continued making plans and we were all mostly assigned to be a part of Levi's new squad. Erwin kept a close eye on us after he found out who the traitor was.

"Those bastards!" Eren shouted when they got away and he got badly injured. It won't be long until they come back. Levi and the rest of us were hiding from the rest of the military police, searching us for being traitors and such.

"This sucks now we got keep hiding from this bastards." Connie and Jean would continu3 to say when we all wandered further into the forest and made it to a cabin.

We entered and Sasha and Mikasa stepped forward with lanterns in hand and lit the place up, the power was out but luckily we won't be needing it tonight, we made a bonfire and ate fast before we'd get caught. The police were the only ones we were hiding from, Levi's uncle was searching for him which made the situation even worse. I hope Erwin is doing well, I feel bad that he lost an arm.

Levi scoffed and looked at the place disgusted by it being dirty. "Disgusting." I hear him say next to me when he saw dust on the counter.

"Want me to clean it up for you?" I offered.

Levi stayed quiet his back facing me. "No need to, tomorrow will be fine. Thanks..for the offer. You can rest now soldier." He calmly told me.

I nod my head and we all grabbed our piles of blankets and got on the floor, this cabin seems for two or three people but we're a lot here, so we'll be sleeping on the floor.

The next morning I woke up super early, despite being tired as hell I need to keep up role and do as told. I cleaned the place up and even found a few herbs and made tea for Levi and breakfast for everyone, they are are delighted when I woke when up at the sweet smell of eggs and ham.

When they come, I'll be ready...

*************

"Sasha make sure to keep a close eye and around! Connie, Jean don't hesitate to slice the enemy open if they're nearby!" I shout and remind them on what to do. They've been determined to do this since they now know Reiner and Bertolt are responsible for Marco's death.

We were scanning the walls like Erwin told us, our gear was up and ready so we were looking at the titans inside the walls. Suddenly a loud boom was heard and someone jumped in front of us. Reiner!

I moved away and in less than a second Levi appeared and stabbed him. "They're here!" Someone shouted and everything turned into a mess.

We were all over the place fighting them, Eren turned into a titan and Erwin with his squad were elsewhere. I ran up to a roof and jumped down when I noticed Bertholt nearby trying to get to Eren. The ground continued to shake and I knew it wasn't coming from these giants.

I hoisted myself up to the top of the walls and my eyes widened when I noticed the Beast titan, Zeke is here and the cart titan on the other side, Pieck. I hold onto my blades and jumped back and made it to the Colossal titans side. "They're already here, we need to be quick."

I notice weird stares from some of the soldiers when they see me up on the titans shoulder without receiving damage.

I'm sorry...

It all ended quick..Eren knocked down Reinera and he escaped, Levi was close to killing Zeke and was about to until the cart titan showed up, Armin is now a titan and swallowed up Bertholt receiving the colossal titan..and Erwin sacrificed himself.

I flew over to the cart titan and waved goodbye to Sasha one last time when she noticed me leaving.

***********

I continued to inhale the familiar smell of cigarettes and tried waving the smoke away. His grandparents were worried for him and begged me to take care of him, so here I was with him in his room. We haven't exchanged another words since we arrived.

He finished smoking and hummed to himself. "This is a nice change, you wouldn't stop talking back then whenever we'd be together." I see his blue eyes staring at me intently.

"I've seen and been through a lot, guess I've changed." I mutter staring down at my knees now.

"I can't imagine how these couple of years have been..did I ever cross your mind?" Daily. He suddenly wants to know.

"Every now and then." I lie and run my hands over my now long hair. I feel his fingers brushing my hair now.

"It's gotten too long, you should cut it." He mutters back and reaches his night stand for a book. "Every now and then...hmm..i guess I could say the same."

I stare at him again and blush when I realise he's missed me too. 

The next morning I got dressed up in my Marley uniform and had gotten a haircut, leaving my hair now to my shoulders. I noticed Pieck with Porco. I lowered my sleeves so they won't notice my recent cuts and I waved back and made it to them.

"(Y/N)! Glad to see you're alive and back." Porco tells me and Pieck gives me a hug.

"It's certainly nice to be back home."

*************

They've all gotten taller and different, well all the guys have. They seem more mature, Zeke most of all. Reiner, Zeke and I were having lunch since his grandparents invited us.

"I can't but admire how much you've all grown these couple of years. (Y/N), you've become more beautiful. Wouldn't you boys agree?" His grandma cheerfully asks. I feel my face heat up and I shyly look up to see Zeke's answer.

Reiner instead answers first "She's certainly a beauty, wouldn't you agree?"

Zeke seems deep in thought and only hums. I feel the need to frown and run away but I don't. "You're all too nice." I fake a smile and hide my hands under the table and stabbed my hand with the small knife I held.

*************

In the couple of years since I returned, Zeke has only gotten more distant to me, we'd only share some small talks and nothing more. We haven't spoken about the things we used to do as teenagers. He has here in my home now, sitting on the edge of the table and continuing to smoke.

"As you know Willy Tyber is giving out a speech tonight..."

"I know." I blush when his eyes continue to stare at me. I jump a little when I feel his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry if I haven't been talking to you, I've had so much on my mind..about my brother."

Zeke approximately only has one year to live. "(Y/N), this world is cruel and I want nothing else but to destroy and die with it eventually. I hate everyone and myself, luckily i only have a year left and you'll be alone. Ive had this on my mind for a while. So, (Y/N)...would you like to have my children?"

My mouth feels dry and I almost stumble down when he asks me that sudden question. We are barely even friends now and he wants me to carry his kid?

He scoffs to himself and shrugs his shoulders. "I believe the Jaeger bloodline is cursed and shouldn't continue, but I have a feeling that you might put an end to our curse, since you're family worked closely to my mother."

I feel bad for everyone he who haven't lived the life they should, like the tall pop guy who seemed helpless with the rest of soldier suffering from ptsd..

Zeke has always been selfish and only cared about himself, can it be that, he's changed? Before I can answer Zeke tightly grabs my wrist, not caring if he's hurting me ship ship roughly kisses me.

I place my hand on his shoulder and feel him beginning to but down my neck when I feel his hands tracing down my sides and beginning to unbutton my long skirt and move down to get rid of my underwear with the rest of my clothes.

I..I want Zeke.

I push myself away from him and regain my breathing. He pushed his glasses back up and looks at me surprised "Z-Zeke. I want you to before you leave, I'm nervous..can we wait until the ceremony for tonight is over?"

It's hard to read his expression since the light next to us hides his eyes through his glasses. "Anything for you, my (Y/N)"

************

Eren suddenly made an appearance here and knocked out Reiner and began killing people, he was now fighting the War Hammer titan while his comrades also showed. Zeke and I were together talking when this all happened and he protected me from the blast nearby.

The Marleyan soldiers began shooting up at the sky while people ran to shelters as Eren began to destroy everything. I've waited this days for years.

"Zeke you need to be careful!" I shout and held onto him tight to not fall down from his height. He turned into his titan form along with rest of our friends. I glared up ahead when I noticed Porco chasing Mikasa.

Zeke reached over and placed me on top of house. "Stay there." He said and moved forward.

I stayed still and watched the fight going on with Eren and the War Hammer turned surrounded herself like Annie in a crystal. I ripped my dress apart and began to run up ahead when I spotted Levi getting closer to Zeke from behind.

I jumped down from I was and began to fly up ahead. Under my dress I had my black suit with a odm gear and blades. "Levi!" I shout and saw him slash the back of the Beast titans neck.

I make it down when I see him getting Zeke out. We glare at each other and I hold my blades out. "(Y/N). Look out-"

Zeke screams when I slash his legs off. "Marleyan soldiers are approaching." I tell Levi. He nods his head and holds out a grenade.

"Good to see you again." He smirks and sets the grenade off and we fly off up to where Hanji is and we spot Armin in his colossal form.

Levi shoves Zeke and and I start to punch him and knelt down to his level and glared at him. "I had my doubts of you betraying us when you first came, your sudden in attitude was a first but i thought i was imagining things when you started acting like your naive self again.I guess i was wrong about you."

I've been ready for this day for years now. I explained to everyone about my true intentions but switching sides before Reiner would attack back home. Some were reluctant of me but Levi trusted me and then the rest decided to trust me again as their friend.

I no longer support Marley or any of their Declaration of war.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't kill Bertholt sooner." I admit and rest my blades at my sides. I was the one who slashed and pulled Bertholt out, I only wished I got to him early since he killed Marco and so many. He killed my parents as well.

I'm not the naive girl in love i used to be. Zeke never paid attention to me until I came back. This feelings are long gone and now I'm fighting for what is right. He along with the rest stupidly believed that I agreed with everything. Zeke remained playing games with me.

"Hanji, how are things going?" I step forward and see her missing an eye now.

"Good to see you again soldier, we're doing just fine thanks to you. Jean, Connie and Sasha are still down killing the remaining of Marleyans."

Sasha..I can't wait to see my girl again. I step forward ready to head down again. "Keep a close eye on him for me." I tell Levi be for jumping down and heading over to where Sasha is shooting down a soldier.

I glare down when I notice Gabi looking at Sasha, then at me. I show her and the soldier next to her my middle finger and begin to follow Sasha and Jean.

This is our last war. We'll make the best of it and kill all remaining enemies.

**Author's Note:**

> Had this planned up for a while since this is the AoT final season ans i've read many good Zeke fics here, i'll be writing more soon based on characters from this season.Today's episode was titled "Assasin's Bullet" so rest in peace to my fav #1 female character. Sasha has always been my #1 tied in with Hanji. Characters like Zeke are hard for me to write so please let me know if i got his personaity right :)


End file.
